Getting married at St Mary's
- The marriage service in church
- Who can get married in St Mary's?
- The Parish Office (initial arrangements with the church)
- The Banns
- Music and church bells at your wedding
- Further detailed information
- Interview with the rector
- Any other questions?
In St Mary's, over the last 750 years or so, countless couples have been united through the Christian marriage ceremony in the beautiful surroundings of our church. We like to imagine that something of their love and expectation has, over the centuries, sunk into our ancient walls. We therefore look forward to making every prospective bride and groom feel really welcome when they come to enquire about getting married in St Mary's. We will try to answer all their questions and help them with everything that has to be arranged so that they may eventually be declared, before their families, friends, and God, to be husband and wife. Here is some preliminary information they - or, if you are someone thinking of getting married here, you - may be interested to know concerning the church and the service.
THE MARRIAGE SERVICE IN CHURCH
A marriage service, wherever it is held, is a public declaration of love and commitment to your partner. If you decide to get married in church, you will be asked to promise before God, your friends and your families, that you will love, comfort, honour and protect your partner and be faithful to him or her as long as you both shall live. The minister conducting the service will also ask everyone present to declare that they will support and uphold your marriage.
At the beginning of the service, after the bride and groom have entered the church, the minister will welcome all present and then read an introduction explaining what Christians believe about marriage. He or she will also ask, as the law requires, if anyone knows any reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place. Then the couple make their declarations of love and commitment. There are one or two readings, and the minister will give a talk or sermon.
Then the couple make their vows to each other: "to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part". They then exchange a ring or rings and the minister declares that they are husband and wife. Prayers follow, asking for God's blessing and help. Then the bride, groom and two witnesses sign the registers, as is required by law. Finally, the wedding party leaves the church in a joyful procession and photographs are taken outside in the surroundings of our lovely grounds.
WHO CAN GET MARRIED IN ST MARY'S?
New regulations came into force on 1st October 2008 called "The Church of England Marriage Measure 2008". This does not affect the existing rights of parishioners to be married in their local church, but extends the entitlement to other people who might not qualify under the existing rules.
Engaged couples are entitled to be married in St Mary's church if just one of these applies from the existing regulations:
- If one, or both of them, are resident in the parish of St Mary's Church, Shenfield.
- If one, or both of them, is entered on the church electoral roll of St Mary's Church, Shenfield.
Engaged couples, who do not meet the above requirements, may make an application to be married in St Mary's Church if just one of the following conditions applies from the 2008 regulations:
- One of them was baptised or prepared for confirmation in the parish and has had his or her confirmation entered in our church register book
- One of them has ever lived in the parish for six months or more
- One of them has, at any time, regularly attended public worship in the parish for six months or more
- One of their parents has lived in the parish for six months or more in their child's lifetime, or one of their parents has
habitually attended public worship in the parish for 6 months - Their parents or grandparents were married in the parish
(All of these apply to Church of England services)
Making an application to marry in St Marys' Church
The new regulations are not entitlements to marry and our Rector has a Statutory duty to ensure that "Qualifying connections" are appropriate, and the regulations and documentary evidence have been met. Consequently, if you want to apply to marry in St Mary's on the basis of the new regulations, please contact our Curate, Eileen Lockhart, who will arrange to see you to discuss the rules and assist you in filling in the application form and providing the right evidence.
The new regulations do not affect the existing position regarding the
remarriage of a divorced person - any such enquiries should be referred to our Curate, Eileen Lockhart who will be pleased to advise you.
If St Mary's is your local church, please come along to the Parish Office to find out how we may be able to help you.
THE PARISH OFFICE
If you decide you would like to book a date for your wedding in St Mary's church, you should do this in good time - in person, as a couple - at the Parish Office. It is worth making a provisional booking at your chosen reception venue before fixing the date at the church, as local hotels, etc., are often booked up long in advance. If you have not yet made up your minds, but may have a query or possible problem you would like to discuss, come and see us at the Parish Office anyway.
This is held in a room off the church itself. The door is over on the far side, on your right, as you enter the church. Notices are put up on the door when the office is open, which is every Wednesday evening, between 8.00pm and 8.30pm. This is while the choir is rehearsing, so lights will be on and you will not be alone in the building.
If this is not possible, contact one of the Ministers. Click here for the number
THE BANNS
You may have heard of Banns being read. Banns of Marriage are a public announcement of your intention to marry and a chance for anyone to put forward a reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place. It is a legal requirement that Banns must be read at church services, during the three months before the date of your wedding, in the church where you intend to get married - St Mary's - and also the church in any other parish where you or your partner actually lives. Staff in the Parish Office will discuss the arrangements for this.
MUSIC AND CHURCH BELLS AT YOUR WEDDING
You may choose whether or not you would like to have the organ played, the choir to lead the singing, and the bells rung as the wedding procession leaves the church: your wishes will be entered in the church Weddings Diary when you visit the Parish Office to book the date of your wedding.
FURTHER DETAILED INFORMATION
When you have completed the Banns form, we will give you information about the Christian marriage service itself, suggested music and hymns you may like to have during the service, suitable readings, a sample Order of Service, and the fees to be charged. We will also let you know of arrangements for flowers in the church and our rules on photography.
INTERVIEW WITH THE RECTOR
We are now almost at the end of the arrangements for your marriage: it just remains for our Rector to contact you to arrange an interview and, later on - just before the wedding - a rehearsal of the ceremony.
As our Rector retired in August 2008, our Curate will be interviewing all couples before the wedding and arranging rehearsals.
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
If you cannot find answers above to any questions you may have at the present time, please come along to the Parish Office, where we will do our best to explain and sort things out for you.